An ADHD self care weekend
I’ve been saying lately that I feel like a balloon that someone let go of. And I’m just bobbing along in the air, not anchored, sort of detached from everything. And when I get like this I know it’s time to start paying attention to self care. Self care means deliberately taking care of my mental, emotional, and physical health to reduce stress, boost resilience, and promote balance. It’s not just about bath bombs and face masks, though those things definitely have their place. Self care also involves doing the hard things, because that’s you taking care of your future self. I know that self care is not selfish. It’s a necessary component of maintaining my overall health and well-being. I am trying to make self-care a priority in my daily routine and allocate time specifically for activities that nourish my mind, body, and soul. So I’ve decided to have a little self-care weekend. We’re going to plan this day using some self care pillars:
Mental/Emotional Self-Care: Take care of your mental well-being by practicing activities that promote clarity, relaxation, and mindfulness. This can include meditation, deep breathing exercises, journaling, engaging in hobbies, practicing gratitude, or seeking therapy or counseling when needed. Attend to your emotional needs by fostering self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Engage in activities that help you express and process emotions, such as talking to trusted friends or family members, practicing self-compassion, engaging in creative outlets, or seeking professional support if necessary.
Physical Self-Care: Nurture your physical health through regular exercise, nutritious eating habits, and adequate rest. Engage in activities that promote physical well-being, such as engaging in regular exercise or movement (like gardening), prioritizing quality sleep, maintaining a balanced diet, going to the dentist regularly, and seeking medical care when needed.
Setting Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. Learn to say "no" when necessary and create a healthy balance between your personal and professional life. Setting boundaries helps prevent burnout and allows you to allocate time and energy to self-care practices.
Sparking Joy: Identify activities that bring you joy and incorporate them into your routine regularly. This could involve engaging in hobbies, spending time in nature, practicing self-expression through art or music, reading books, or exploring new experiences that align with your interests. The idea of sparking joy is I think where a lot of common self care tips come from. And it’s great, don’t get me wrong - I am going to enjoy these nails for awhile, so this is great self care and I’m glad I did it, but I think when sparking joy is the only motivator for self care, we might be missing something, and it might be why typical self care tips don’t feel quite right to me.
Social Connections: Foster healthy relationships and social connections as a form of self-care. Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals who contribute to your well-being. Engage in meaningful conversations, spend quality time with loved ones, and seek out social support when needed.
Regular Self-Reflection: Take time for self-reflection to understand your needs, values, and aspirations. Assess your progress, celebrate achievements, and recalibrate as necessary. Regular self-reflection allows you to make adjustments and ensure that your self-care practices align with your evolving goals and priorities.
Practical Self-Care: This means taking care of practical tasks that set future you up for well-being. This can mean meal planning, checking in with your finances, using a medication organizer, tackling the mail pile, car maintenance, and so on. One thing I was thinking about, is how things like brushing my teeth, taking my meds, and doing my skincare are all self care for me. With my flavor of ADHD, these things aren’t habits - I have to think through each step of each process, every time. I wonder if neurotypical people who developed the habit as kids and haven’t had to talk themselves through it every day think of brushing their teeth as self care.
Before I sign off, I want to talk about the privilege I hold that makes it possible for me to do this self care weekend at all. I have flexibility in my weekdays, I have school-age kids so I do have time during the day, my partner works a 9-5 to financially support our family and allow me to do things like this. All of my basic needs are met, and that alone is an enormous privilege. And as a middle-class white woman, it’s almost expected for me to engage in self care. There are a lot of women, a lot of people, who don’t have the benefit of time or the financial resources, or the social support to participate in self care this way. If this is you, I want you to know that I see you, you deserve self care, and I hope you can find pockets of time to take care of yourself. And I’d love to hear small, quick, easy, and inexpensive or free self care ideas in the comments.
Remember, self-care is a personalized practice, and it may vary for each individual. Explore different self-care strategies, experiment with various activities, and observe what works best for you. Cultivating a consistent self-care routine can help you lead a healthier, more balanced, and fulfilling life.
Love,
